Christian One-Liners

1. Some people are kind, polite, and sweet-spirited -- until you try to sit in their pews.

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2. Many folks want to serve God, but only as advisers.

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3. It is easier to preach ten sermons than it is to live one.

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4. The good Lord didn't create anything without a purpose, but mosquitoes and roaches come close.

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5. When you get to your wit's end, you'll find God lives there.

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6. People are funny: they want the front of the bus, the middle of the road, and the back of the church.

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7. Opportunity may knock once, but temptation bangs on your front door forever.

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8. Quit griping about your church; if it were perfect, you couldn't belong.

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9. The phrase that is guaranteed to wake up an audience: "And in conclusion...."

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10. If the church wants a better pastor, it only needs to pray for the one it has.

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11. Not only are the sins of the fathers visited upon the children, but nowadays the sins of the children are visited upon the fathers.

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12. God Himself does not propose to judge a man until he is dead. So why should you?

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13. To make a long story short, don't tell it.

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14. If your left hand doesn't know what your right hand is doing, you should consider running for a job in Washington, DC.

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15. Some minds are like concrete: thoroughly mixed up and permanently set.

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16. Peace starts with a smile.

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17. I don't know why some people change churches; what difference does it make which one you stay home from?

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18. A lot of church members who are singing "Standing on the Promises" are just "sitting on the premises."

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19. We were called to be witnesses, not judges.

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20. Outside of traffic, there is nothing that holds this country back as much as committees.

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